Turning 50 was a strange time for me. It freed me up in a way. I was free to hula hoop, wear plastic tiaras and skip in public. My "give a hoot" factor went way down. Who cares what people think? I am 50! But turning 50 also made me realize, that the things I dreamed of doing, I better get to doing. Which is why I decided to call this blog, "But Wait, There's More!" I have more I want to say and so much more I want to do. I better get to skipping!
Saturday, February 14, 2015
30+ Years & Still Smiling
Me & my handsome Valentine.
My Valentine and I have been married more than 30 years now
so I thought I would write something clever like, “Our Top 10 Tips for Staying Happily
Married.” It always seems that those
list-type articles grab my attention in magazines…so why not, right?Well, I asked my husband over a yummy
Japanese lunch (hold the rice please and bring extra veggies!) to give me his
top 5 reasons why our marriage works.This was met with a blank stare that quickly turned to panic. “You are
catching me unaware,” he complained.Never
mind that the same handsome guy with the panicked look just hours before gave
me a beautiful Valentine’s Day card, in which he wrote at least 3 reasons why we
work. Tony knows how to express himself well in greeting cards. His messages
always make me cry because he writes what he would never say out loud. I
treasure those cards.
”How about just your favorite reason we work as a couple,” I
pressed on.He said, “You cannot print
Our discussion quickly turned to some light jabbing that continued
as we walked into Food Lion to buy dinner fixings—because eating lunch makes us
anticipate our next meal and we decided years ago that we stink at Valentine’s
Day so we stay home and mostly ignore it. I offered that our marriage works because I
tolerate his hats. My man loves his baseball caps, derby hats, Stetsons,
beanies—you get the idea.He countered
with, “Our marriage works because I tolerate your rhythmic breathing when you
sleep.”Tony is nice enough to lie to me
and claim that while I do NOT snore, I often breathe rhythmically and sometimes
Goofing around at our lake house.
As I am typing this, I realize that the reasons we work are
all right here. We work as a couple because
we enjoy each other. Tony is my best friend and favorite port in any storm. We
laugh together—sometimes even at each other, but always at ourselves. We adapt
well to situations. We eat Valentine’s dinner at home after many failed
attempts at Valentine’s Day dinners out (one ending at a fast food joint where we both
snapped at each other because we failed to make reservations and every place we
tried was booked and we had already burned through $50 in babysitter money
before settling for grabbing a burger). It works for us. We have also learned some expectation
management. Expectation management should be part of wedding vows.
My guy cracks me up.
We dream together. Over our Japanese lunch, we were busy
making plans and dreaming out loud. I love that.We also are getting healthy together (skip
the fried rice, please) and sharing common goals makes us work as a couple. Cheering for each other when our interests are
different is how we roll too. Tony has run marathons and I have run along
taking photos, ringing a cow bell and holding up a sign. I am proud of his accomplishments.
He will be the first one to read this blog and encourage me to write more.
We do tolerate the things we don’t love about each other. I
try to ignore those hats and I have even grown to love his beard. He puts up
with my snoring (I mean, rhythmic breathing) and all the curbside treasures I
drag almost weekly into our home.
And then there are the reasons that cannot be printed…Happy Valentine’s Day!
But Wait!! There's More...
I want to
thank my Valentine for braving the cold temperatures to go outside and get some
much needed repairs done. Tony and John Stenz (our awesome neighbor and
favorite party animal) fixed some erosion problems on the side of our house,
which included digging a very long trench in our frozen yard. That says
"love" to me.J