At the 11th Hour

I got this lovely "Over The Hill" Tiara as a birthday gift,
but quickly swapped it for one boasting my age!

I don't like to admit this, but if procrastination were an art, I have made putting things off my masterpiece. I am not proud, just honest. This blog is proof. In less than four hours I am technically 51 years old. Some of my sweet friends crafted a list of 50 things I need to complete by the time I am 51. This blog (or writing something--anything!) is #20 on the list. As only a TRUE artist procrastinator can, I started thinking about the list in July and seriously working on it at Christmas. I will NOT complete it all (I am not making an impromptu music video at the mall. Sorry, Heather!), but #20 got to me.

I have talked about writing something for as long as I can remember.  I created a class newspaper in the fifth grade (Tooter Town News), wrote for my high school paper and later worked as a radio and newspaper reporter in California and Alabama. I love playing with words. I have talked about writing so much that my son sometimes taunts me on our Sunday calls with, "So mom, have you written anything?" He even says his goal is to write a book before me.  He just might. 

Writing a book is a daunting to me.  Fear is likely the reason I haven't plugged my nose and dove into the publishing waters.  If I don't write the book, it cannot fail or be rejected. I then cannot fail or be rejected.  This blog is my way to force myself to write, sticking my toe in the water. I hope it leads to me taking the plunge...soon (really!).

It's no surprise that this "50 Things" list is what finally got me off my duff. Turning 50 was a celebration to me. I have called it the "Year of Judy," which my husband fears will become the "Decade of Judy!" And while dancing around wearing my beloved plastic tiara with the BIG BOLD "50" on it in hot pink lettering has made me almost giddy at times, it has also made me reflective.

Some of my fab diva friends who helped me celebrate!

Before 50, I felt as though I could procrastinate on many areas of my life.  "I will do that someday..." "I just might learn to dance, sing (fill in the blank) later." My 50th Birthday made me realize that I better get hustling if I am going to tackle my personal to-dos. Time doesn't feel as limitless as when I was 20 years old and rationalized that I was too young to write (who could possibly want to read what I had to say?). The reality now is that even in the best circumstances, my life is surely half over. YIKES!

So as my 50th birthday loomed, I thought of all the things I have been afraid to do and realized that 50 gives me the freedom of NOT fearing failure (at least not as much!). I hula hooped for the first time.  I love it!  I started an exercise program and stuck to it all year and even more shockingly, I exercised beside my athletic husband! No small feat. I spoke my mind more freely (those who know me well are probably shocked that I have in fact held my tongue in the past).

So here goes...My only fear is that now that I have started "talking," I can't' shut up. 

But wait, there's more...tomorrow!