Marinating in All that Life Offers

My partner in all things gives me great joy! Life with Tony is a gift.

Yesterday was my 60^th Birthday and I feel happier and more satisfied than I ever have. Obviously, I have experienced moments of pure joy—our wedding day, the births of our children and grandchildren, seeing Mount Rushmore and Niagara Falls for the first times—but this feeling I have is one of sustained bliss. I know that sounds corny and even being corny makes me smile.

This sense of perpetual joy snuck up on me. I usually err on the side of “happy”—my motto is “I refuse to have a bad time”—so, it’s not as if I were miserable one day and happy the next.

Sitting at lunch this week with my husband of nearly 40 years, I was just suddenly aware that I am not currently seeking anything. That may sound strange. I haven’t given up on life or having adventures and making new friends. I just feel completely satisfied with my life NOW. I spent much of my life working toward something or looking for something—raising children, getting a better job, or improving myself. I am always a work in progress and am making choices to be healthier, but if it all ended for me now, it would have been enough. Life is good. I am good. Our family is good. I feel loved. I am satisfied. I am at peace. What a gift that is! Now each day is gravy! Each day beyond today is an opportunity to continue to love and be loved. Each day that I have with my husband, our children and grandchildren is an extra blessing.

This might all sound maudlin, although I don’t feel like I am being morbid. I feel grateful! I would love to live a long and healthy life, but I plan to enjoy each day as the gift it is. Two of my dear friends did not get to see their 60^th birthdays. February 6^th is the tenth anniversary of Ruthanne Lodato’s murder. She was a wife, mother, fabulous human, and my friend. She was just 59. Another sweet friend died last December—just two months before her 60^th birthday. Kelli Noble’s death was also unexpected, although not violent. I am still trying to process her passing. She also left children and a grandchild.

I share these stories because these beautiful women are counted in my 60—the 60 great women who loved me to 60. They didn’t get to see 60 themselves, so my promise to their memories is to live each day with gratitude. Ruthanne and I would have lunch together a couple times a week. We often moaned about our weight or other things that seem so trivial now—oh what I would give (and her family would give) to still be enjoying chubby lunches with my dear friend.

Dad as a "Tiara Victim" in honor of my 50th.

When my dad was nearing the end of his life, he started making phone calls to people. I dubbed these calls “closure calls.” We all took turns finding phone numbers for him—most of these people he had not spoken to in many years. Many of the calls were sweet. Dad expressed gratitude or shared a fun memory. On at least one call, dad let the listener know how badly he felt hurt and betrayed by him. Because we don’t all get a “10-minute warning” before we leave this planet, I am sending cards and notes to friends and family now. Shouldn’t we make “closure calls” throughout our lives? I plan to end calls and visits with genuine “I love yous” while I can. I pledge not to leave any of the good stuff unsaid.

My birthday reminds me to continue to breathe deeply and appreciate the weather, the sky, the breeze, the leaves and to savor the sounds of life—dogs barking in the distance, children calling out, birds.

If I should get that “10-minute warning” that my time on earth will end, I hope to take a good long, final look around and think, “I hope I have loved enough and given enough.” Then I will look up and say, “Thank you.” And if I am honest, I will add, “More, please.” But today, I am just peacefully grateful.

 But Wait! There’s More!

This blog is an example of preaching to the choir! I heard from so many of you yesterday. Thank you for the phone calls, cards, texts, gifts and social media posts. I love that so many of you sang "Happy Birthday" to me. It was especially sweet to have Azariah sing "Happy Birthday" in English and Hebrew during a video call. He ended by kissing the phone and telling me he loves me. I have saved at least four phone messages where my dad called and sang "Happy Birthday" to me over several years (as well as a  couple messages where others sang too!). I love to play these every year. 

You all got your “I love yous” said and I heard them and marinated in them. Thank you! You made my already sweet life even sweeter! I feel loved. xoxox